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By The Beautiful Mind Clinic, Pune
Have you ever been sitting with your partner, feeling angry and not sure how you got there? Don't worry, you're not alone. All couples fight sometimes. But there are ways to make these hard times better and even help your relationship grow.
Why We Fight and How to Fix It
The Real Reasons
We often fight because we're not getting what we need, we're not talking well, or we want different things. For example, if you're upset because your partner works late, you might really be feeling like you need more time together.
Talking Problems
Many fights get worse because we don't talk well. If you're angry that your partner doesn't help clean, you might say, "You never do anything!" This kind of talk often makes the other person defensive instead of wanting to help.
Feelings Matter
Our feelings play a big part in fights. When we're angry or hurt, we might say things we don't mean. If you feel very upset, it's okay to say, "I need a moment to calm down."
How to Make Things Better When You Fight
Listen Carefully
When your partner is talking, try to really understand what they're saying. Don't just think about what you want to say next. It can help to repeat back what they said to make sure you got it right.
Use "I Feel" Instead of "You Always"
Instead of saying "You always ignore me," try "I feel lonely when we don't spend time together." This tells your partner how you feel without blaming them, which can make them more willing to help fix things.
Find Things You Both Agree On
Remember, you're on the same team. Look for things you both agree on and start from there. If you're arguing about money, you might both agree that saving money is important. Now you have something to work on together.
Try to Find a Middle Ground
It's rare to find a perfect solution. Try to find answers where you both feel heard and respected. If you can't agree on where to go on holiday, maybe you can split your time between two places or take turns choosing each year.
Remember Why You're Together
When things get heated, think about why you're in this relationship. Is winning this fight worth hurting your relationship? Often, being kind is more important than being right.
Make Your Relationship Stronger: What You Can Do Now
Fights don't have to be bad for your relationship. With practice, they can help you understand each other better. Here at The Beautiful Mind, we want to help you deal with these hard times.
Do you want to turn your fights into chances to grow closer? Don't wait for the next big argument. Book a time to talk with one of our trained therapists today. We'll help you learn how to turn your fights into good talks, your arguments into understanding, and your relationship problems into chances to grow closer.
Remember, a beautiful mind isn't one that never fights. It's one that knows how to handle fights with kindness, understanding, and love.
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